scared
i am kind of scared these days- well maybe that is not the right term for what I am feeling. we are finally at the point of signing our lease for the fire garage- should be doing it next week thursday. this itself is not the scary part- what is scary is that once we sign the lease, we will then have to begin the process of renovation- a process that will cost a lot of money- we are guessing around 30,000- money we do not exactly have. yet, the synod says- press on, go forward on faith- the money will come…blah blah blah :-) i do have faith that the money will come- we have already been blessed with much more mission support than could have been expected- but the problem is the sub-contractors need to be paid- especially the electrician and heating guys who will cost the most….so….yeah, i guess scared is a good word. any ideas where i can find 30 grand? anyone’s church want to loan us the money- or get a loan for us? just checking- that’s what the bishop said to do!
on a personal front-i am scared a bit as well- just got word yesterday that my father is in the hospital with a heart and lung problem. most of you who read this are aware that my parents both have long suffered from problems with addiction- my mom has been clean for almost 3 years- praise to god. my dad, well not so clean- evidently he went on a pretty bad binge of drugs and alcohol the last week since seeing us last wednesday, and this led to his heart becoming enlarged and his lungs filling with fluid- basically the doctor told him he is lucky to be alive and he must stop using or he will surely die soon. now…i am not sure how one is to feel in a situation like this- i love my dad, always have and always will but i am pretty pissed at him right now- i mean wake up- you got grandkids and all that- but i know he suffers from a disease so i feel bad for being angry. god help us all!
so yeah, i share this simply because i value all your prayers and thoughts, and because it helps me process a bit to write. peace to all of you.
jg
on a personal front-i am scared a bit as well- just got word yesterday that my father is in the hospital with a heart and lung problem. most of you who read this are aware that my parents both have long suffered from problems with addiction- my mom has been clean for almost 3 years- praise to god. my dad, well not so clean- evidently he went on a pretty bad binge of drugs and alcohol the last week since seeing us last wednesday, and this led to his heart becoming enlarged and his lungs filling with fluid- basically the doctor told him he is lucky to be alive and he must stop using or he will surely die soon. now…i am not sure how one is to feel in a situation like this- i love my dad, always have and always will but i am pretty pissed at him right now- i mean wake up- you got grandkids and all that- but i know he suffers from a disease so i feel bad for being angry. god help us all!
so yeah, i share this simply because i value all your prayers and thoughts, and because it helps me process a bit to write. peace to all of you.
jg
j-it was great seeing you and the family last weekend.
last night, i was speaking to a group of folks at a book study and we were talking about the life of discipleship being a life that is out of our control. this is both scary and a blessing - scary because we have a need to be in control, and a blessing because it is ultimately not humanity that is in control of the big picture.
my prayers go out to you and your family concerning your father. i know this has been a long struggle for you and i pray that you will continue to stay in communication with him. i am glad there is hope in the midst of the situation, and i pray that t is at a place where he sees that it is up to him to make changes in his life - changes that lead to improved lifestyle, and life.
Posted by
Leland |
5:45 PM
we love you, and we pray for a sense of peace for you and your house in mi. we know that this is a sucky thing for all of you, wishing for a wake-up call and also for mercy. we don't know what it's like to be you, but we love you and are thinking of you. wishing all the strength and prayers your way that we can.
as far as the church goes, my colleague would say that it isn't your problem. seems like it is, but really it isn't. this is a huge act of faith for all of us, being in debt and hoping for a gift (or five), but knowing that there isn't anything we can do ultimately to secure anything close to a sure thing.
here's to faith...
Posted by
kendi |
8:33 PM
i'm praying for you.
Posted by
Karen Elizabeth |
11:16 PM
this may sound bad, especially after all the wonderful words from our friends, so please know that I mean this from the heart.
It's okay to be angry.
Really, it is. It's okay to be angry with your father...it's a stem of love to feel hurt and upset that he may not see his grandkids again, and it's okay to feel that way.
As E said, Faith is incredibly difficult in situations like these. Remember we, your family of friends, love you and care for you and are praying for you constantly.
Sorry I missed you last weekend. It would have been great to see you and get a grimm hug. :)
Love to you all and my prayers are with you.
Posted by
~moe~ |
3:31 PM
T,
The idea of other congregations adopting us as a mission is great. we have some mission partners alrday around here- and in fact leland's church is sending us some money- so yes, you have my permission to do whatever you feel you can do.
peace
jg
Posted by
Justin G |
11:20 AM