seeking advice
hi all, now i realize i have not posted since the celebration of easter, and i do feel a bit bad about that. what brings me back now is the need for some advice on how to deal with a tough situation. before i get there- quick update- advent continues to grow- our average attendance is between 85-100 on sundays. we are at a crucial point of pushing forward with our vision as we get ready to charter....and of course- we need more help financially, especially as we are wrapping up the work on fire garage space. anna and the kids are well- we really love being in lake ann and this part of the world- man it is breathtaking- when you come visit, i am sure you will agree- the sand dunes overlooking lake michigan are some of the most amazing thing in the world. anna is seeking new work (something in her field) so prayers for her would be appreciated!
okay, now for the advice part:
one of the congregation members is about 6 and a half months pregnant with a child that is not going to live- some chromosone disorder (k- same thing that the baby on CPE had that died shortly after birth, and sue did a service for). anyway, the family has known for a long time that this is the fate, and there is nothing to be done to help the baby- outside of a miracle. they have accepted this, and are planning no invasive procedures after birth- if the baby is even alive then. that in itself is a very tough situation- but the family also has a three year old, and he is having a very hard time accepting this, and making sense of it. i am to meet with them later this week again, and to talk with the 3 year old a bit more. any thoughts on how one can approach this with a toddler? what can be said to help him make sense of this in his world?
the crazy thing about this job i guess is how you can go from extreme highs to extreme lows in the matter of seconds. right before i got the call tonight about this situation, i was on the phone with another family who was able to adopt a baby today after two years of trying- a miracle in itself for them.
hope you all are well.
peace
jg
okay, now for the advice part:
one of the congregation members is about 6 and a half months pregnant with a child that is not going to live- some chromosone disorder (k- same thing that the baby on CPE had that died shortly after birth, and sue did a service for). anyway, the family has known for a long time that this is the fate, and there is nothing to be done to help the baby- outside of a miracle. they have accepted this, and are planning no invasive procedures after birth- if the baby is even alive then. that in itself is a very tough situation- but the family also has a three year old, and he is having a very hard time accepting this, and making sense of it. i am to meet with them later this week again, and to talk with the 3 year old a bit more. any thoughts on how one can approach this with a toddler? what can be said to help him make sense of this in his world?
the crazy thing about this job i guess is how you can go from extreme highs to extreme lows in the matter of seconds. right before i got the call tonight about this situation, i was on the phone with another family who was able to adopt a baby today after two years of trying- a miracle in itself for them.
hope you all are well.
peace
jg
Welcome back J - I'm glad things with the family and MI are going well.
Well...as well as can be expected. This is a tough situation. A 3-yr-old having to deal with not only a new sibling but the possibility of not having that sibling is hard to comprehend, even for my small mind.
Maybe ask the 3-yr-old what s/he thinks is happening? Have they talked about God's plan for people with the toddler? maybe if you get the 3-yr-old talking about it, insight on what to say will come to light.
My prayers are with you - not only with the child but with the parents as well.
Posted by
~moe~ |
7:52 AM
Man, what a tough one. I think you can do this well--I know so. My advice--just listen over and over again. Pray over and over again. Stay in touch with them. Paz
Posted by
Chad K |
4:56 PM
wow, bad flashbacks to sitting in that hospital room at united...
you've probably already done this, but here's my thoughts...
i think if it were me and i were going to have some time with the little one, i would ask him a couple of questions and see where it goes. i'd probably ask him if he's afraid, and if so, what he's afraid of. sometimes kids are afraid of things that we don't even think of.
and then i would probably stress that no matter what happens to us, jesus holds us. jesus is holding us right now. jesus holds people that we can't see, like maybe a grandma or cousin that he knows about but doesn't see very often. so, even if he doesn't get to see the baby for very long, that jesus is still holding the child.
and i think i would tell him that it's okay to be sad and mad, but that everything will be okay.
as far as explaining the why's, i don't have a clue. i don't understand it myself.
i don't envy you, that's for sure.
by the way, did you end up having fenton guests at worshiP?
Posted by
kendi |
12:11 PM